March 10, 2024
Bus Strike: Great for the Glutes!
Okay, I admit ... there's an upside to the bus strike -- my ass is starting to look fucking hot! Walking 45 minutes to and from work each day is shaping up that flubby winter bottom into a tight lean peach of a tush. Oh and my hamstrings? Tight as Pawlenty's purse strings. My calves look good enough to fucking eat.
I've decided to invest in a pair of those cute little weights to give my biceps a bit of a workout as well. Don't want to be all bottom-heavy. Now, there right ways and wrong ways to walk. Keep your chin up and your shoulders slightly back. Think tall! 
Stride with purpose into those intersections. Make the SUVs fear you. Make eye contact with the drivers. Glare if you have to! You are fierce! You are walking! And don't forget to stretch when you are finished!
What else can you do to make those walks to and from work a bit more interesting?
Make Butter! Put some heavy whipping cream in a babyfood jar with a small clean rock or a marble. Add a pinch of salt or sugar to taste. Place in right hand, and walk per usual, making sure the jar gets a good shake. By the time you get to where you're going, you've got a lovely pat of homemade butter!
Put Up Fliers! Get hooked up with those Loose Weight Fast people and make some extra spending money putting up their fliers. You pass a lot of telephone poles on your way to work.
Listen to the New York Times! Download the New York Times from Audible.
Help Us Raise Money for [ ]! Take up a collection at work. Tell your coworkers: "Each morning I walk to work, will you donate $1 to the [ ] fund? Possible worthy causes: Breast Cancer, AIDS, Homeless Youth, Bus Striker's Food Bank.
Hands-Free Coffee! It's tough to walk and enjoy a cup of joe at the same time. Rig up this superb drinking hat to make your life easier.