April 19, 2024
Elijah Wood: Gay
Every time I run into another poor sap who doesn't think that Elijah Wood is a fag, I'm utterly astonished. How could anyone think anything else with the evidence at hand. Okay. So. Here we go. For those of you who haven't been paying attention ... Elijah wood = gay. Where's my evidence? Well...okay, it's scant at best. But a multitude of whispers begets a chorus, I always say. When there's megabytes of posts about the subject on Data Lounge, you know something's up. Elijah Wood is the Chernobyl of gaydars--anyone with even a rudimentary sense of the aesthetics of queerdom can't help but find their geiger counters going off the mark when that diminutive little hobbit struts on to the Tonight Show or grapples with his cast mates on the red carpet like some junior high kid on the jungle gym. Seriously, the boy is gayer than dad's old hat band. The evidence is out there; the only questions are what did we know and when did we know it?
I understand that my charge is a harsh one. There are a lot of fangurlz on ritalin out there who attack with lacquered claws anyone who dares to question their love-object. An infamous website, Elijah Wood is Very, Very Gay, became such not because it has evidence of Elijah's homosexuality, but because it drew the ire of Tiger Beat's target market. The website offers little in the way of evidence--Elijah's gay because he wears a messenger bag and allows himself to be photographed juxtaposed with feathers. The funniest parts of the site are the flame letters, presumably from adorably anorexic pre-teen chix incensed that someone has trampled on their late-night Elijah Wood make-out fantasies. Here's one from "Megan":
Your site is a bunch of BS! The "conclusions" you make are absolutely, completely ridiculous and full of it. There is no way that Elijah Wood is gay. Numerous times Elijah has talked about and been seen with girlfriends. I don't care if your site is a "parody" and is just a way to make fun of how people jump to stupid conclusions. People are stupid and will believe any crap they see or read. I don't think it's fair that you have this site, because people will actually believe it when it isn't true! How would you like it if you were straight and someone spread stupid rumors about how they concluded you were gay? It's like those stupid high school websites where people spread mean rumors about each other. It's cruel, shallow, immature, and in my opinion not humorous at all. Oh, and I hope you appreciate my correct spelling of words and correctness of grammar.
I actually feel sorry for these gurlz. Throughout history, iconic heartthrobs always end up bent. From James Dean and Tab Hunter, to Elijah Wood, Clay Aiken, and Ricky Martin, somehow, being adored by so many gurlz makes you gay. Perhaps such star-worship releases psychic rays, that, in the massive quantities that heartthrobs attract, somehow alter the chemical make-up of their brains. Or, maybe it's just the fact that you have to suck so much cock in order to get anywhere in the 'biz' [or so I've heard!].
Let's face it, Elijah's a fag. In 2003, the Data Lounge threads were parsing every single shred of evidence, and indeed, through the twisted bifocals of this bitter koffee klatch, the evidence seemed insurmountable. The general consensus among these venerable gossip queens who have nothing better to do all day was that Elijah and Dominic Monaghan [who played Merry in Lord of the Rings] were a couple. 
It began with an apparent incident at a gay bar in West Hollywood. According to Star Magazine, a fan had snapped a photo of Elijah and a male pal [unidentified] at the unnamed gay watering hole...
A source said: "Elijah ran after the guy. He was screaming. When he finally caught him, Elijah insisted that the picture be destroyed. The fan looked scared. He didn`t realize it would be such a big deal to snap Elijah Wood in a gay bar."
Soon it would be rumored that Elijah and Dom had moved in to a house together somewhere in the Hollywood Hills. In a 2003 article, Metafilter attempted to sum up the evidence by linking to a particular page on the highly-regarded hobbit fan page, The Bag End Inn [my particular source for juicy hobbit gossip and wank photos]. However, that dossier has mysteriously been removed. Google's cache didn't have the page, but luckily, the trusty Internet Archive came to my rescue. So what does the mysterious page tell us about Elijah's sexuality? Oh, that Dom wears Elijah's ties out in public, Elijah wears a certain ring to certain public engagements, and Elijah talks as though he has had intimate relations but also admits he's never brought a girl home. Summing up the evidence thusly, Data Lounge poster MsA concludes:
*Dom and Elijah wear blue and grey at the NY premiere, and at other premieres are also in coordinated colors:
Paris: Silver and Gold
LA: Brown and White (coffee and cream)
NZ: Black and White, plus Dom's wearing the tie Elijah wore on Leno
*Elijah wears a spanking new gold ring all over the press tour and flashes it everywhere.
*Elijah does an MSN chat where he talks about how lovely it is to be tactile and wake up next to someone. Yet, curiously, in several interviews he also says he's never brought a girl home.
*At the New York premiere, we're treated to a lovely, closed-eyes hug between them.
*On the tail end of the Starz special, we're treated to a lovely shot of Dom kissing Elijah's hand, and then warmly embracing the giggling little maniac.
*At the LA premiere, Dom tickles Elijah's sides and then they have another warm, juicy hug.
*On his MTV2 gig, Elijah dedicates the song "No One Knows" to Dom. He doesn't dedicate any songs to anyone else.
*On Leno, Elijah says he spent all of his time in his hotel room. When asked if "she" was hot, he smirked and agreed that "she" was. He then went on to comment approvingly on humping monkeys.
*Elijah says he's a fruit on Caroline Rhea before having an "oh shit" moment and backtracking. The two then go on to have hysterical giggles about teen mags trumpeting his supposed single status
*Elijah talks about sleeping in Dom's trailer
*And Elijah says the hobbits make sweet love together.
Recently, Elijah's been appearing the New York press [I believe he's just bought a condo there with his sister?!?!]. The blind items appearing in the daily rags suggest that Elijah and Dom might be 'just friends' right now. According to Gawker He's making out with men in elevators and hitting on journalists.
Oh geez. Listen to me. I sound like one of those dishy queens who used to sit outside Cafe Zev in Loring Park and make fun of my hair when I walked past. Can you imagine me sitting here at my computer, breathlessly gushing over blind items and rumors, fanning myself, searching the desk of my drawer for my handy vial of vapors? I am doing just that! Is there a part of me that wants Elijah Wood to be gay [and can I have it removed?]?. No, that can't be. It's Brian whose fantasies of Elijah-sex border on disturbing, who dreams Elijah is Lord of his Ring. I'm above base star-worship! 
Perhaps gossip about Elijah's homosexuality is just another aspect of star-worship, a constellation of behaviors that translate and express the fantasies of the anonymous fan. Perhaps Data Lounge gossip threads about Elijah and Dom aren't that different form the erotic slash fiction written on the web with summaries such as, "Dom and Elijah watch a movie. And do other hot, sexy, homoerotic things." One in particular imagines them falling into bed together after an uproarious fancy dress party:
Dom had moved his attention to the baggy pants, loosing the belt and pulling the offending trousers down over Elijah's buttocks and thighs. He paused to savour, as he always had to, the smooth skin revealed. Elijah reached up pitifully to catch Dom for more kissing, but Dom had moved on. He unceremoniously flipped him over onto his stomach and peeled down Elijah's boxers.
Whether or not Dom is rough with Elijah in bed, and whether or not Elijah likes to be roughed up, I have a feeling Elijah will eventually come out, disappointing another generation of gurlz to move to 1) another twinky star or 2) real life. But until he does, we'll just have to speculate ... But in the meantime, is he really fooling anyone by dancing like this???
........................
See also:
Gawker: Lord of the Rumors I
Gawker: Lord of the Rumors II
The Bag End Inn
City Pages: The Secret Lives of Hobbits
In Premiere magazine Dominic Monaghan said that Orlando Bloom is effeminate.
Posted by: patty duke at April 20, 2024 12:15 AMWho cares if Elijah Wood is gay? This whole topic is so 1992.
Posted by: CPH Jones at April 20, 2024 05:20 AMI know Chris, I hate having to waste my time with this bullshit. But I'm constantly amazed at how willfully ignorant some people are of the facts. I assume certain things about the people I interact with, and when they don't know Wood's gay, je despair. Now, hopefully, we can move on. Think of this as the equivalent of the 9/11 commission.
Posted by: jason at April 20, 2024 07:34 AMWhile I freely admit to having fantasies of Mr. Wood as "Lord of my Ring," I must also concur that the speculation has gotten tiresome. Can we please move on to gay-baiting my other disturbing celebrity crushes? Like Gregory Smith (who plays Ephram Brown on the WB's Everwood)? or Frankie Muniz?
Posted by: Brian at April 20, 2024 01:07 PMDisturbing indeed! Frankie Muniz? He's like fourteen! I demand you stop watching the WB!
Posted by: jason at April 20, 2024 01:20 PMFrankie Muniz, 5 December 1985, which makes him legal in every state and elderly in Alabama and Arkansas.
Now Dewey, there's a hottie.
Posted by: glen at April 20, 2024 06:37 PMohmygawd i will not allow the comments section of this post to become a mouthpiece of nambla!! cease!
Posted by: jason at April 20, 2024 07:47 PMI guess I just never understood the whole Signorile-out-the-Hollywood-fags thing.
A.) I've always understood that everything that you see, read, or hear about any actor is categorically false, manufactured pap created for the sole purpose of selling a product (namely the star and/or their pictures)
B.) Considering that everything about them is false, whether they are gay or not is completely irrelevant - I mean, do fake bisexuals like Alan Cumming or the tainted like Keanu Reeves help Middle Amurrican fruits feel better about themselves as human beings? If they do, those fags must be terribly shallow.
C.) I don't now, nor have I ever looked toward Hollywood for any kind of cultural validation of my existance as an American queer.
It occurs to me that the whole outing thing is just a pathetic attempt to re-enforce consumerism among marginalized people. Make them happy little shoppers by selling them themselves. Ultimately, it's an empty exercise. I don't need to know that some asshole actor is also a buttfucker in order to feel like a fully capitalized participant in Amurrican society.
You could also argue that by singling out weak weenie boys like Elijah Wood and what's his name from that stupid Everwood show, you're just helping to re-enforce stereotypes that gay men are all a bunch of scrawny pansies whose wrists spin like propellors whenever they walk across a room.
Maybe I'm just being too too over this, eh?
Weak weenie boys? Whatever, I think they're hot. I also find plenty of burly, pudgy "men" attractive, too. I think by diving into cultural criticism too soon, you're missing the point: fun.
Don't get me wrong, I'm as radical as the next queer. But just because I'm aware of my place in the global capitalist machinery of boring heterosexual death, it doesn't mean I can't be a little self-deprecating about it, too. Whether Elijah's busy cornholing some hobbit or not obviously matters little. I just happen to enjoy some catty gossip about it now and again. Sometimes its fun to "play" gay, wrists spinning like propellers as I go. Camp can be a form of resistance, too, you know.
Posted by: Brian at April 21, 2024 11:18 AMJason, give Brian my phone number.
Posted by: glen at April 21, 2024 05:57 PMI like this Brian character.
Posted by: Addymal at April 22, 2024 02:24 PMYOU MUTHERFUCKERS! ELIJAH WOOD IS SO NOT GAY! YOURE JUST JEALOUS OF HIS HOTTNESS! YOU DICK SUCING TIT LICKING WHORE HUMPING BASTARDS! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED AND YOURE ALL GOING TO HELLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Jay at April 30, 2024 10:48 PMI wrote the fancy dress story (which is how I got here, by checking the stats on my site). It's kind of strange to be singled out as an exemplar for a whole fandom, especially when there are such great writers out there writing much steamier stuff than I do. Anyway, I just think Elijah's gorgeous, and I liked the way Dom compared him to Chaplin (extended dvd, Fellowship of the Ring). I have no idea if either of these guys are gay and it doesn't alter anything one way or the other, really. If he's straight, Elijah's still so out of my league I'd need the Hubble telescope to see him. And if he's gay, then he's doubly so. Either way, he's hot and interesting and he inspires me :)
Tri
Elijah Wood is NOT GAY!!! He's amazing! I bet you jackasses never had a best friend, that is what the hobbits are!!! Their there 4 each other!!! Omg, your just jealous of him, he's hot,sexy,sweet,and gorgeious!!! He such a great actor!!! He has beautiful blue eyes and that sweet smile!!! So back off, stop call him a fag!!! I hope someone comes along a calls u a fag, cuz if u can call someone a fag, u must be a FAG!!!
Posted by: Stephanie at May 13, 2024 11:45 AMI LOVE ELIJAH JORDAN WOOD AND HE'S NOT A FAG, YOU ARE!!!
Posted by: Stephanie at May 13, 2024 11:48 AMElijah, Muniz, Ralph Machio, Leonardo di Caprio.Who cares if they are gay? What matters is that they are eye-candy to gays. Long live all the cute boys of hollywood,
Posted by: Indi at May 14, 2024 12:33 AMi am a tiffy and elijah can play with my instruments anyday. he isn't gay anyway me and elijah are going to get married.
Posted by: nicola t. at May 14, 2024 05:34 PMSomeone just posted this link. Funny :) Stephanie up there is kind of unclear on the concept, isn't she? Of course Elijah is amazing. He's also probably gay. He doesn't stop being amazing because of that.
Brian's a smart cookie. No, not all gay men are queens. But some are. And most queens are gay men. Yay, them.
Glad this madness has been amusing for you, at least. Oh, and tidbit? Elijah's still wearing the ring he started wearing back in the fall of 2002, and he and Dom are still hanging out together a lot. As far as I've heard, they're still together, always have been. (disclaimer applies, of course.)
-The Infamous MsA
Posted by: MsA at May 16, 2024 02:41 AMJust because the man refuses to act along the typical het guidelines doesn't make him gay. Ian McKellen the gay actor and activist has said multiple times that Elijah is straight. Elijah has said the ring he has been wearing is from Franka Potente. There are several rumors of Elijah having a new girlfriend. Anyone who visited the Datalounge threads would know that the majority of the time the posts had nothing to do with Elijah and everything to do with fandom mud-slinging. Elijah is a highly talented, charming actor who is most probably straight. However, it seems that some are only interested if he's gay.
Posted by: Lany at May 16, 2024 06:08 PMYou go, Trianne!!
Most of the rest of these posters are delusional. To Nicola - you're going to marry him? Wake up, child.
Stephanie and Joy - You'll grow up, eventually. We who believe Elijah is gay are not saying this out of any intention to defame him, nor are we jealous. We simply consider it a fact and are amazed that other people don't see it.
To CPH Jones - from my safe perch as a straight female, it seems to me that you do harm to the gay guys who ARE rather femmy. Don't they also have a right to be who they are?
To Brian - Sorry, I'm not interested in Frankie Munez.
To Lany - I can't disagree with your opinion of DataLounge, and I certainly agree that Elijah is a highly talented, charming actor, and I would still be interested if he were straight. But the love between him and his co-star is a beautiful thing whether or not it includes sexual attraction.
Posted by: Taro at May 16, 2024 09:53 PMNotice all of the people saying Elijah Wood is not gay keeping saying, "OMG! Lij is like soooo not gay!!!1!!!111!! How can u say dat?!" Okay, maybe not that dramatic... but I think the proof is against you.
I'd pay to watch Elijah and Dom get it on. :D
Posted by: Whitney at May 18, 2024 12:38 PMDom denied that he and Elijah were a couple on the Craig Kilborn show. Elijah denied that he was gay and that he and Dom were a couple in People Magazine. Dom's publicist denied that they were a couple in In Touch Magazine. Both Dom and Elijah denied being a couple at the fan convention Collectormania 4 last October. Dom spent a good five minutes making fun of the people who believed it.
Sorry, Whitney. The proof isn't on your side.
And for the record, according to Elijah, the ring he wears was a gift from Franka Potente. I can also point you to a picture of Billy Boyd out in public wearing one of Dom's hats.
There's an examination of some of the "facts" listed in MsA's summation post at the Reality Check website, http://sanityplease.digitalcandy.net/
Posted by: Jen at May 18, 2024 01:34 PMJason you are so funny. You have quite the vocabulary, " Laquered claws" *squeals*. Gosh , I feel like I have no gaydar what so ever. Perhaps that is why I am presented with silence whenever I admit to Elijah being my celebrity crush. My question is why does being gay have to be such a big secret? Even so I think it's kinda hot. I would love to see some kissing action between Dom and Elijah. And if he turns out to be straight he can definitely be the "Lord of My Ring", or where ever else he wants to put it.
Posted by: Abbey at May 22, 2024 11:26 PMDom has a girlfriend.
Elijah doesn't, but all the same he's very picky.
MsA is a sleeze.
The End.
Posted by: Nera at May 23, 2024 02:40 PMMsA is insane. Dom has a girlfriend. Up until recently he was living with MacKenzie Astin, Sean's brother. Have no idea about Elwood.
PS: The photos these nuts are obsessing over are 2-3 years old. Those 2 haven't been seen in public for a while because LOTR is OVAH!!!They have moved on, time thses loons do the same.
Posted by: Toilkien at May 24, 2024 12:30 PMUMMMM you can't even spell 'Tolkein' right so why the FUCK should we trust you??????
Posted by: jason at May 24, 2024 12:40 PMGo fuck yourself Jason, better yet grow up. Dom has a girlfriend, deal with it. No wonder he keeps her out of sight, what a bunch of sickos.
I spelled "Toilkien" on purpose. I have my reasons buddy.
Posted by: Toilkien at May 24, 2024 01:15 PMYou are like a couple years behind the times. This "evidence" has already been talked to death, and those color "shoutouts" have already been laughed into the ground.
Elijah has basically denied it, and if that isn't enough for you, Sir Ian McKellen has said Elijah is "resolutely heterosexual". I don't care if you believe this or not, regardless, compiling a list of reasons as to why Elijah is supposedly "gay" is really really stupid. Not to mention your pathetic stereotyping.
Newsflash: Short, skinny, affectionate guys do not = Gay. Join the real world! It's fun.
Posted by: FionaAppleMartin at May 24, 2024 01:44 PMDon't be stupid. Lots of people deny their gay for specific reasons, and they often enlist their friends in the ruse. Actors and Actresses have a profound interest in keeping their sexualities secret, since sex appeal = popularity. When they're cache takes a nosedive, they'll come out, reviving their flagging careers for a few more dollars and years. The evidence as to elijah's queerness is overwhelming.
You just want to Elijah to be straight so you can imagine him kissing you while you fingerbang your lonely self tonight.
Posted by: kevin spacey at May 24, 2024 01:52 PMWhat the hell does a word of Ian the-all-knowing McKellen means in comparison to Elijah's, who admitted on Caroline Rhea that he's a fruit.
Posted by: Shaddy at May 24, 2024 02:10 PM"kevin spacey"=ISSUES.
Welcome to the new, small edition of PP children.
Posted by: kobee at May 24, 2024 02:20 PMHi Everyone...
These are the most new comments I've gotten on this topic in some time -- where are all of you coming from? Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!! I luv you all.
Posted by: jason at May 24, 2024 02:27 PMThe Prancing pony forum on Datalounge has been closed. The nuts have found a new place to post their RPS fantasies. Sad.
Posted by: LOTR is over at May 24, 2024 02:30 PMSomeone wrote:"What the hell does a word of Ian the-all-knowing McKellen means in comparison to Elijah's, who admitted on Caroline Rhea that he's a fruit."
Excuse me while I laugh..Bwahahahaha *cough*
Ok. Who is Ian McKellen? Just a close personal friend of Elijah's who happens to be an out and proud gay man. Furthermore he's a gay activist who is totally against closeting actors. That good enough for you, peach?
As for Elijah's comment on Caroline Rhae...
Again, I must pause to LMFAO!
This was also discussed to death long ago. IIRC, the conversation was about Kiwi's(native New Zealanders). Caroline said that he was an honorary Kiwi. She then explained to the audience what Kiwi meant. "It's not the fruit."
Elijah then said *Sarcastically*..."I'm a fruit really" As in the kind you EAT. He then seemed to realize the other meaning and said..."NO, Ian is a fruit..But NOT ME."
The clip was online. I don't if it still is, but if it is you should really watch it.
Posted by: RealityCheck at May 24, 2024 02:42 PMKevin Spacey, you've got problems.
Posted by: GrowUpRetards at May 24, 2024 02:44 PMJason in answer to your question, your journal has been linked to a place of wank called DLA (Data Lounge Anonymous).
http://www.journalfen.net/community/dl_anon/229017.html
This domlijah are they/aren't they argument has been going on for a long time.
Posted by: kobee at May 24, 2024 02:51 PMGreat.
Umm...I'm kinda over this myself (wrote it as a joke to my boyfriend, who's in LOVE with Elijah), but I must say _I_ love watching people argue and fight and call each other names. Too fun.
Btw ... 'GrowUpRetards', 'FionaAppleMartin', and 'RealityCheck' are all the same person. Sad.
Posted by: jason at May 24, 2024 02:53 PMI don't know what is so sad. I took this like any other thread. I didn't know we were only supposed to post once. :p
I posted(As Fiona) and then someone asked the question about Ian McKellen and I answered(using RealityCheck). But I forgot to say that "Kevin Spacey" sounded like he had some issues so I posted that seperate. As for the different names, I don't have a set username so I just used what was in my head at the time. I wasn't trying to hide myself as I figured you would see the IP adress anyways.
But if you want to call me sad, that's fine. Just remember, you are the one who wrote the footlong essay on Elijah Wood's sexuality.
Posted by: FionaAppleMartinRealityCheck at May 24, 2024 05:23 PMJason, out of curiosity what was your boyfriend's reaction to this thread?
Posted by: lany at May 24, 2024 08:16 PMFranka Potente is the girlfriend of Tom Tykwer, the director of Run Lola Run. She's also old enough to be Elijah Wood's older sister. So why would a 30ish heterosexual man wear a ring from an older woman who is very publicly involved with an even older man? Can you spell R*U*S*E? Can you spell B*E*A*R*D?
Does anybody besides me remember when JODIE FOSTER was pretending to be the best pal of Mel Gibson? Anyway, enjoy this now because in 3 years Elijah Wood will be as big a has-been as Richard Chamberlain, who after insisting otherwise for 50 years was brave enough to come out of the closet to celebrate his 70th birthday.
You people are freaks. Go away.