Gay? Unfashionable?

April 28, 2024

Capris. Gay? Unfashionable?

Today it's expected to reach 85 degrees in Minneapolis, which means I'm breaking out the capris!
Are they faggy? I don't care! I love them! I love the fresh air tickling my calves, which are so much sexier than my thighs. My thighs look like sows sleeping in the field. My calves are tight cheetahs. Capris make me think of Greece. Walking to the bus, it's like I'm in sandals sipping a mai thai. It's summer in Minneapolis, folks.

Question of the day. Capris. Gay? Unfashionable?

Bamboo Floral Capris at Marshall Fields!

When you take to the field this summer with your gay softball team, make sure you are fashionable first. Consult Outsports.

Be a slag! Capris make you more attractive to Essex boys.

Posted by jason at April 28, 2024 07:47 AM

Capri pants, Jason? That's so 2002. You might as well wear black and white striped spandex shorts and a "No one knows I'm gay" T-shirt. What's next, a moolay (bleach circle on top of head)? Please don't be a fashion victim. Please abandon Minneapolis forever. Thank you.

Posted by: CPH Jones at April 28, 2024 09:02 AM

I'm with Mr. Jones on this one... it's not so much that they're faggy as they are unfashionable. Sorry, Jason.

Posted by: Brian at April 28, 2024 01:11 PM

especially with white sports socks

Posted by: Brian at April 28, 2024 01:11 PM


The first link is for girl's capris. That's not the same thing! All the chicks dig on looking like Connie Francis.

The second link is some stupid article on fags that drool all over other fags who shop at Aberzombie & Bitch. Who shops there? You live in Eden Prairie or something?

The third link I had to close immediately because I'm at work, you bastard.

Capris are for girls and they will always be for girls. Obviously, if A & F is selling them for boys. Go buy yourself some real shorts. Thank you.

Posted by: CPH Jones at April 28, 2024 06:12 PM

When I was 12 I had chartreuse capri pants with a rope belt--only in those days they were called clam-diggers. That seems a more masculine name, though in retrospect perhaps chartreuse was a bit un-butch. This was the era of Harry Belafonte and calypso music. Well, it's still the era of Harry Belafonte: last year he criticized Condoleeza Rice for working for the man, and in response she said she didn't need advice from Harry Belafonte on how to be black. I do think she could use some calypso lessons, don't you agree?

But to return to the topic: I think Jason looks good in capris, even though they do accentuate the hips and that might lead gill/addymal/brandon to think he's a bottom.

Posted by: glen at April 28, 2024 07:14 PM

I, too, broke out the capris yesterday. There is nothing so comfortable or sexy. I even wore them to the only-for-the-beautiful Starlight Lounge for last night's Cabana Boy contest.

I won.

OK, not really; I'm too pale and skinny (but not too proud) to compete. However, my capris were complimented.

Posted by: Aaron at April 29, 2024 10:37 AM

I was reunited with my capri pants this morning after they journeyed all they way from Minneapolis to see me. We have a special bond, my capris and I. They love to fall over my sexy thighs, complementing my ass and caressing my package with both respect and gentility. I respect them in return by not assigning a gender to them. I will wear them with pride throughout the summer, the only time we share our passion for one another.

However superior to both the tired cut-off-second-hand jean shorts of the nerdy hipster and the bulky cargo shorts of the urban mountain climber, my capri pants are open to all types of summer attire. We do not wish to push our beliefs upon others, but what other options are there for warm summer days? Certainly not the dreadful pleated khaki or spandex biker shorts (not even for irony, which is SO 2003)!

On the flip side, my capris and I have a S&M relationship. I dominate him, accessorizing him with man-clogs and a man-purse and call him derogatory names like "man-capri." And if you've got a problem with it, I'll kick you in the fucking man-pussy, bitch.

Posted by: Mr. Marc at April 29, 2024 03:22 PM


Jason, you come round Seattle in June wearing those things, well then, I don't know you....

Dig? Dig.

Posted by: CPH Jones at April 29, 2024 05:41 PM

I'm wearing pants rolled up to capri length, but I think this is an entirely different thing. I do own a pair of capri pants though [noteworthy?maybe,maybenot;stillquitequeer).

I bought them for a party in Santa Fe in 2002.

Jason, a bottom? Well now I want to know, but I'll keep that question to myself and pretend I didn't just type it and send this comment anyway!

Posted by: Addymal at April 30, 2024 01:26 AM

Post Scriptum:
Haven't worn the capri pants since and have to hide them if I know that nosey bastards might be over--wouldn't want them to find them in my wardrobe. I think this means they are unfashionable. I'd rather they find my blue tweed sports jacket! =)

Posted by: Addymal at April 30, 2024 01:27 AM

Can't we move beyond these tired old binaries??

Posted by: jason at April 30, 2024 07:23 AM