The Dangers of Publishing Part I

Tis the season in publishing when our authors start returning from whatever villa in Italy they've been studying paintings at and start freaking out. Not the most stable of creatures, academics can literally go insane when their books (i.e. their children, their life's passion, their life's work), creep nearer and nearer to the point of publication. They excel at the grammar of passive-agressive behaviour, and their emails and phone calls to me can go from condescending coddling to rigid demands within the space of a few phrases. They become, simultaneously, experts at marketing and cover design, but incapable of writing their acknowledgements, chasing up a missing permission, or reviewing their copyediting on time.

As a result, I've developed a special editorial assistant power, a sixth sense for freak-out authors. I know when they call. I can detect a certain charge, an extra urgency, to the telephone ring. An email will surely follow. For fun, I'll add an auto reply to my email: "I am currently on sabbatical, studying the papyrus manuals of ancient Egyptian copyeditors. For the number of the nearest Kinko's..." The suspense over who in the office will win the bet and accompanying pool for craziest author becomes almost unbearable.

This year, the collective state of academics has deteriorated to such an extent I felt it was necessary to adopt a color-coded chart of the various stages of an author's freak-out, so that myself and the folks down in Production can better choreograph our response. Call it information-sharing, if you will. We've got a few authors who are pushing orange, so remain calm. Be vigilant, but try to go about your daily routines. Stay away from windows, stock up on booze and aspirin. And should they reach the red stage, turn off your phone and join me at Saks.

Posted by jason at August 9, 2024 01:14 PM