December 29, 2024

His handsome face, multiplied

This guy just stabbed this guy in a first-floor room of the Fairfield Inn off Insterstate 35 in Des Moines, an apparent tryst gone wrong. The victim was a member of the board of the Christian Life College in Illinois. Did he at that very moment discover God's plan for his life? Now the young murderer is in jail.

"Weidmann appeared before you on an internet page..." Genet might say.

Posted by jason at December 29, 2024 09:46 AM

The utter banality of this one make intriguing semiotics.

Both the news story and Jason point out that Terry Graham died in a first-floor room: why is that significant? His name was HiWayGuy, maybe that explains it. When travelling on the HiWay, always get a first-floor room, that way you don't have to carry your luggage up a flight of stairs. Terry presumably had no luggage this time, but old habits die hard, like Terry.

Matt McGee took 40 pounds off his weight for his ad. Terry Graham took 5 years off his age. They were both "white/European" (as opposed to what? white/Asian? black/European?).

Christian Life College's web site says: "Discover God's plan for your life!"--a verse (minus exclamation point) from the book of Jeremiah, which if you know your Bible is ironic.

There's no Terry Graham on the Christian Life College website--have they removed him already? There are two people named Graham, including LeRoy Graham, who looks like he could be Terry plus 60 pounds, or maybe his fat brother.

Terry's photo is semiotically schizophrenic. He has the haircut and glasses of a preacher and the mustache of a villain in a bad cowboy movie: talk about mixed messages. He said he was interested in "Friendship, Action/Sex, Conversation," presumably in that order, but with Matt (whose entry has the same interests) he seems to have foreshortened the friendship and never got to the conversation. Actually, Terry got action without sex, poor guy.

These closet-cases always describe themselves as bi-sexual. I wonder if the female Graham on the Christian Life College website might be his daughter, unless she's LeRoy's trophy wife.

Matt's entry, on the other hand, signals trouble like a tsunami siren. If you wanted a cliche redneck hustler for your seamy movie, he would be perfect. The only really interesting thing about his entry is his resting his chin in his palm for the photo, an unusual kind of come-on, and probably the kind of thing that would've appealed to a slumming college type like Terry.

Matt looks obvious, but remember what I've told you guys over and over, it's the one who doesn't look like trouble who will garotte you with the lamp cord from the Fairfield Inn first-floor room.

Posted by: glen at December 29, 2024 10:23 AM

brilliant, glen...

Posted by: jason at December 29, 2024 11:03 AM

Here's something else: on the website of his hometown TV station (KTIV 4), Terry Graham's murder is the second story. This is the top story:

"Authorities seized 88 ani-mals from an Akron, Iowa farm earlier this month. Tuesday, Bonita Dow, the property owner, was in court to determine whether she should keep them."

Posted by: glen at December 29, 2024 11:25 AM

For those following this scuzzy story, an update:

By Thursday (four days after the murder), the Des Moines newspaper had located Terry Graham's entry. Their story describes as "a place for homosexual men to meet." The police claimed to be unaware of the entry, despite their suspect having said that's how he met Terry Graham.

Days earlier the police had released a photo of Terry Graham which was provided by Graham's family. By a wonderful coincidence, it is the same photo that appears on Terry's entry.

On Tuesday, Terry Graham's boss, who also is his brother-in-law, said that when he collected Terry's truck from the motel after the murder, inside he found papers about homosexuality and religion. This claim apparently was the basis of the suggestion by "the family" that Terry had been counseling Matt McGee.

But the police now say they knew nothing about this supposed material in Terry's vehicle concerning homosexuality and religion. Which leads to the conclusion either that the police are incompetent or that the story put out by Terry's family was a lie (albeit a Christian lie) attempting to explain what HiWay Guy was doing in a motel room after midnight with a 23-year-old gay hustler.

Either way, if Matt has a decent lawyer he's not going to go down for 1st degree murder. He probably won't walk, this being a red-state gay murder, but he'll most likely get a few years in the state penitentiary, where he's big enough to fight off the advances of the other inmates, assuming that he wants to.

Posted by: glen at January 1, 2024 09:11 AM has removed both Terry's and Matt's entries from the site.

Posted by: glen at January 1, 2024 09:13 AM

I somewhat understand the morbid curiousity of people who didn't know Terry; but, those of us who knew and loved him are still trying to come to terms with the unknown part of Terry's life and his murder. He was a true, dedicated and wonderful friend. A man who married my husband and me and was there 24/7 when my stepson was killed in a terrible traffic accident. He was there in good times and bad, an unwavering, true friend.

In trying to understand all that has happened and trying to understand the reasons why Terry didn't or couldn't talk about the secret part of his life, I came across your comments. At first, I was offended because it was so callous. After looking through your website, I came to the conclusion that maybe you are looking for understanding and answers too. What I do know is that the Terry I knew was a man that cared so very much for his friends and would help anyone at anytime for any reason. He was not judgmental or demeaning. He must have been tortured keeping this secret.

He was my friend and I will remember him for the man I knew and will continue to try to understand everything that has happened.

Posted by: Linda at January 3, 2024 08:34 AM

The Terry you knew was also a homosexual who met men for sex on

Posted by: jas at January 3, 2024 09:08 AM

Yes, Jas or Jason, that is somewhat redundent at this point, isn't it?

My statements still stand as true.

Posted by: Linda at January 3, 2024 10:16 AM

Why shouldn't they?

Posted by: jas at January 3, 2024 11:08 AM

I believe that Terry Graham was a decent, caring man: after all, at one point he was active in caring professions. I'm sure also that he was a tormented man, in a way that very, very many gay men can understand. I don't think we should be callous about his death. But his death is something that people can learn from, not only us but Linda also.

The fact that Terry Graham left the ministry and counseling to become a traveling salesman suggests that the people around him knew "something" about his secret life. In my experience (which is considerable), these secrets are rarely secret. Those people around him would have been in the best position to be understanding and to help him. It's not clear that they did, other than helping him to maintain his public image of a nice, caring HETEROSEXUAL man.

For me the sad human thing on his entry was his saying that he wasn't "yet" out of the closet. This suggests that he wanted to be. Now he is. Nobody wins, except perhaps the people who think that somebody like Terry should keep quiet about it, and that's that.

Posted by: glen at January 3, 2024 12:26 PM

I have known Terry Graham for nearly 25 five years. Terry, for reasons known only to him, chose to keep his gay lifestyle private. I assure that NO ONE around him...not family, wife, or close friends knew about him. Most are still in disbelief. Terry was a wonderful man who surrounded himself with loyal and compassionate friends...all of whom would have done what they could to support him had he decided to let them in on his secret. The biggest struggle for all of us IS HIS DECEPTION. Deception is a word none of us would have ever thought applied to Terry. . .We may not have understood right away because he never gave even a hint of this lifestyle, but he would probably would still be here had he told us the truth. He underestimated us. So please don't take the high minded attitude that poor Terry was misunderstood...he didn't give us a chance. A friend.

Posted by: A friend at January 26, 2024 01:40 AM

Okay. I've been looking at sites all day long about this. (Apparently, I am not on top of things, considering what I do know about the killer.) God. "The killer." That feels so... wrong.

I know Matt McGee. I was a friend of his in high school, and this ws quite frankly shocking to me. I never knew Matt was gay, though this was high school we're talking about.

I'm just shocked. I don't really have anything to contribute.

Posted by: Surprised at January 30, 2024 12:59 AM

Terry has been a personal friend to my family for more then 30 years. when him and his brother started a christian school I attended for 2 years. I do wonder what really went on in that room and why he was in a chat room but maybe he was trying to help these men maybe thats what set Mcgee off so badly that Terry had set him up for a meeting but turned out to try and help him. Hopefully the truth will come out during the trial. And your post about Leroys trophy wife, If that photo is of Leroys wife she is a very lucky woman the graham brothers are the sweetest men ever.

Posted by: merrilee at March 7, 2024 01:59 PM

why is it so hard to accept that your close personal friend of thirty years had secret same-sex desires that he couldn't share with his wife or friends? can you really swallow such a far-fetched notion as he was meeting this guy in a hotel room to pass on the good word of christ? well, i suppose for someone who believes in the resurrection, anything after that is possible...

Posted by: jason at March 8, 2024 07:34 AM