The end of an experiment

Today is one of the last days you'll be able to see me with longish hair. The experiment has gone on for almost a year now, and it has failed. At its best, it resembled the woven yarn mop of the Cabbage Patch Kid I toted around as a tot. At its worst, it looked like a misplaced merkin sewn from the loinfields of a Saxon whore.

this is the type of build-up that the standard american diet can produce in the colon; someone buy me this; how to be a man, courtesy of the star tribune's old maid; jaime hook is out; the united states is running out of money