December 20, 2024

Sometimes, I'm an asshole

Sometimes, I'm an asshole. Sometimes, I do really dumb things. Sometimes, I care not for my fellow human. And sometimes when I am drunk these three merge and come back to bite me in the ass.

On Friday night I was really drunk. I had begun drinking that day at one pm at a work lunch party, which turned into happy hour, which turned into a few more beers with friends at my apartment. When my friends left at around 9 pm, I found myself reeling drunk with some dirty dishes and an empty pizza box.

I needed to put this pizza box in its proper place before I could move on with my life, but it wouldn't fit in the garbage can I keep under the kitchen sink, out of sight. I drunkenly wrestled with that thing, folding it in myriad ways, trying to get it to a size that would fit--no luck.

Being the fastidious freak that I am, the pizza box could not remain out in the open. I thought struck me. I'll open up my kitchen window and toss the pizza box into my neighbor's yard. No one lives there now anyway. The pizza box will be covered by snow, and by spring it will have decomposed into food for flowers.

I opened my window and tossed the pizza box out, but it got hung up on a tree right outside my kitchen window and now hangs there mocking me.


you are very, very, very, very straight and that it should exempt you from seeing Adorable Jake…um… do “it” with Heath Ledger; oooh get her; new ricky gervais podcast; i kinda like gayboyblog catfights; see you at transmission this wednesday night?

Posted by jason at December 20, 2024 03:37 AM

I'm certain the now forsaken and confused pizza box had no idea what it was in for when it arrived.

Posted by: Jeff at December 20, 2024 08:42 AM

"Sometimes I'm an asshole." Isn't this an ontological conundrum on the lines of "Socrates has a cold"? As in: is the cold something separate that Socrates "has," or is it part of his being? Or, in this case, is it possible to "be" an asshole sometimes, or is assholiness part of Jason's being? If it isn't part of his being, where could he draw it from "sometimes."

So more correct philosophically: "I'm an asshole, but it's only visible to outsiders sometimes."

Posted by: glen at December 20, 2024 10:40 AM

Speaking of gayboyblog catfights, did you see you were (sort of) insulted on Josh & Josh?

Posted by: James at December 27, 2024 12:21 AM

gah-- i'm so bored

Posted by: jason at December 27, 2024 07:43 AM

pizza in december is just a bad idea.

Posted by: Dean at December 30, 2024 12:39 PM
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