Questions of Travel: Answered!

Thank you, guest blogger Glen. Isn't he charming, folks? The photocollage with Kirstie Alley at the top was so incredibly charming [ed. note: psst did you notice that Thom Filicia has replaced Kirstie as Pier 1 Imports' spokesperson? You don't think...].

Pascal was wrong, dear friends, or at least not entirely right, about sitting quietly in one's room. Seattle was a kick in the pants, a freebased shot of espresso, a monorail on fire. I fear I may have contracted deep vein thrombosis (DVT) on the flight back, so before the clot that's sneaking through my circulatory system lodges among my gray matter, cutting off my frontal cortex from much-needed oxygen, let me share with you some of the best (and worst) of seattle...

**best!... running into old friend from London and feline flame of sexuality Kristi at the Dyke march on Capitol Hill! This fortuitous event precipitated a night of dancing at Chop Suey one night and checking out Hell's Belles, a rockin' AC/DC cover band another night. It was so wonderful to have wonderful Kristi draped about me again like a fancy stole.

**best!... walking around Deception Pass and being reminded of Lake Superior's north shore, where I grew up. Also, feeling like Merry and Pippin while walking through the old growth forests around there. Oh, also skipping stones.

**best! ... string quartets on the Washington State Ferries!

**worst!... I thought it would be hard to avoid Starbucks over there, as I boycott them always and pee on them when I can. Unfortunately, I did partake in Starbucks coffee while I was there, but made it up by drinking about forty ounces a day from a few excellent independent shops in the area.

**best!... Aurifice and Bauhaus Books & Coffee .

**worst!... UTILIKILTS! Okay, I have a huge problem with utilikilts. I'd seen them a lot the first weekend we were there, mostly covering the rumps of Bears. I didn't think much of it--they'll wear anything. But then we began to see utilikilts everywhere--on the ferry, in the restaurant, at QFC. Now, I know Seattle is a casual place. Very casual, in fact, which is good. But just as I draw the line under casual at wearing your pajamas out to the bar, so do I object to wearing silly unbifurcated mens garments around town. I'm all for smashing silly gendered cultural norms, in general think that men in skirts are hot, but let's face it. This is more about being lazy but still retaining your 'masculinity'. All they care about is being able to quickly wash out their undercarriage. All you gotta do is squat above the garden sprinkler system.

**worst!... Brian's encochlophobia.

**best!... The new Seattle Central Public Library where I spent time off working on some projects. Yes, it can kill you, or at least provides a million vistas from which to hurl yourself, but when you are in the top floor reading room, way off to the side there in the corner, with your headphones on, you can't hear the bored gasps from philistine children being exposed to some 'culture'.

**worst and best!!... Seattle's hills. Which do a number on your glutes when it's the end of the day and you've been hiking around town and all you want to do is sit down with a beer. But generally, I miss interesting topography. Minneapolis is so fucking flat it gets oppressive. In Seattle, you can see more than two blocks in front of you. And sometimes you see a mountain or some water.

**worst!... Not being invited to a cocktail party at Kelly Cash's upstairs penthouse.

**best!!... Monday night drink specials at the Cha Cha Lounge.

**best!!... being able to take the new light rail from (almost) the airport into downtown Minneapolis. How European!

Posted by jason at July 5, 2024 11:21 AM