August 25, 2024
I think she's already been sculpted out of butter
In time for the opening of the Minnesota State Fair this Friday, we crowned a new Princess Kay of the Milky Way last night at the State Fairgrounds...
As Princess Kay, the 19-year-old Dammann will serve as Minnesota's goodwill ambassador for the dairy industry along with the state's 5,500 dairy producersI hate to sound crass but I should state the obvious here--it's quite apparent that Miss Kay's face has already been sculpted out of butter.--snip --
One of the first official duties for Dammann starts today when she sits in a rotating cooler for almost nine hours while her likeness will be carved out of a 90-pound block of butter.
Each remaining day of the fair, a Princess Kay finalist will have her likeness butter-sculpted. The butter heads will be on display in the Empire Commons building.
We now begin two weeks of insane State Fair coverage, where every media outlet in the state must outdo each other each day to find the most colorful, silly, heartwrenching, and 'truly minnesotan' State Fair story of the day. The butter sculptures are just the start, of course. You'll soon be reading column inch after column inch about deep-fried pickles. Ken Barlow will practically pop a woody delivering a beautiful State Fair forecast. Kathy Wurzer will delight in interacting with the homespun outstate redstater folk from whom she copies her radio voice Governor Pawlenty will be walking around in a denim dress shirt banking baby kisses for his reelection bid. I wonder when gay day is this year...I think I may miss the State Fair however as last year it was quite enough. I had decided to get my cholesterol and blood sugar checked at the free nurse's station. Upon delivering my readings, the nurse got a solemn look in her eye and said, "you need to see a doctor...RIGHT NOW." I was like, chill...I'm on the State Fair diet, having just eaten cheese curds, a footlong hotdog, some donut holes, and a taco salad.
