The Holidays are over; time for obsessesive self-abuse!

Hi there, fatties! Are you like me? Did you gain some poundage over the holidays while sitting on your ass, smoking pot, watching Strangers with Candy and eating pudding for a solid week???? I can't bear it!

It's a new year now, and we have several austere winter months in which to be abstemious. Come join me at the Y, where we'll crunch our fatty little tummies away and squat our glutes back into the load-milking machines they used to be.

I do hate the Y at this time of year, however. You know, all the newbies. I'm all tough in my new weightlifting gloves I got for xmas, totally ripping it up on the ellipticals, when these new kids start showing up, all gung-ho with their new year's resolutions but no idea how to properly execute a lateral pull-down. Watch out for my 'roid rage! I start swinging my dumbell around Body Pump class, sending the flabby amateurs flying.

So do join me! Here's a little work out track for you as well to keep you moving... D.J. Sparkle's 20 minute bum and thigh workout. It's aural creatine.

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