L'Amour, no more!

When I was a little kid, I was pretty sappy, and I loved the ladies. I think it was in 7th grade that I bought a Valentine's Day card for Jenny. The Valentine had a little cute panda bear on the cover, holding a red heart (I guess I chose that design because Jenny was Asian). On the inside it said simply, "I love you."

But unfortunately, Jenny dumped me before Valentine's Day. It was 7th grade after all, the time when girls realize they don't want nice chubby boys to hold their hands on the playground, they want rough lean boys with biceps who smoke and swear.

I kept that goddamn card in my desk drawer for several years, hoping, praying, for a Valentine's Day when I might have cause to deliver it to an honest and true valentine.

Eventually....oh, last night to be exact, I ripped up that goddamn card into tiny little squares. To all you sweethearts out there I say, buy your lover the biggest fucking box of chocolate in the world. Feed their self-loathing so they have to depend on you for all time. And remember that love is a cultural construction.