February 14, 2024

L'Amour, no more!

When I was a little kid, I was pretty sappy, and I loved the ladies. I think it was in 7th grade that I bought a Valentine's Day card for Jenny. The Valentine had a little cute panda bear on the cover, holding a red heart (I guess I chose that design because Jenny was Asian). On the inside it said simply, "I love you."

But unfortunately, Jenny dumped me before Valentine's Day. It was 7th grade after all, the time when girls realize they don't want nice chubby boys to hold their hands on the playground, they want rough lean boys with biceps who smoke and swear.

I kept that goddamn card in my desk drawer for several years, hoping, praying, for a Valentine's Day when I might have cause to deliver it to an honest and true valentine.

Eventually....oh, last night to be exact, I ripped up that goddamn card into tiny little squares. To all you sweethearts out there I say, buy your lover the biggest fucking box of chocolate in the world. Feed their self-loathing so they have to depend on you for all time. And remember that love is a cultural construction.

Posted by jason at February 14, 2024 07:54 AM

Oh, hon, I love that shade of bitter on you. There's nothing quite like being jaded since the seventh grade. You could always do what I do and give someone a prick on the VooDoo doll for Valentine's Day. It helps me overcome these "holidays" to know I've caused pain on someone.

Posted by: lycanthos at February 14, 2024 08:09 AM

happy valentines day ;)

Posted by: johnny at February 14, 2024 08:30 AM

LOL @ Jason - that made me laugh. I imagined you spazzing out, ripping the card into tiny pieces :-)

Happy Valentines Day!!! *SMOOCH*

Posted by: SparklesMpls at February 14, 2024 12:39 PM

I don't get the appeal of a "special" day where you're supposed to show your love to someone. What, am I supposed to love you LESS every other day of the year?

Happy VD, Jason. ;)

Posted by: Sean at February 14, 2024 06:48 PM

You get cuter with every post.

Posted by: Robt. at February 15, 2024 12:28 AM
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