Dear Shanai,

Thank you for your note. I am sorry that I did not warn you about the absence of street signs. Once, I saw an American get struck by a speeding messenger boy on a moped. She survived, but lost a kidney. I cringe that the same fate would befall you. Pray, take care. Hold on to your Burberry handbag. Also, I appreciate you thinking of my venereal disease and offering your recipe for treatment. I'll let you know how I get on.

With every good wish // Jason