My standard response to authors these days

My colleague across the divider has passed on to me his standard reply to freaked out authors. I'm at the point right now where this image could quite easily become my auto-reply message to incoming emails.

"Sweeties, there are many books ahead of yours. I'm working eighteen hour days, sleeping under my desk, and nibbling on the leaves of my spider plant for sustenance*, all because I know how important it is to get your book out for APSA next year. But until you sober up enough to write your acknowledgements, there's not much I can do."

* actually, I'm shopping for autumn argyles at Marshall Fields on extended lunch breaks.